Kali kedua, tapi tak tahulah kali ini dikira aku menghadiri pengebumian atau tak, sebab...sememangnya aku tak ada waktu pengebumian tersebut. Dan waktu kali pertama tu pun, aku tak ikut sampai pengebumian, tapi pengiraan ni berdasarkan pengalaman suasana kematian seseorang, dan oleh dikatakan ia merupakan pengalaman melihat suasana kematian itu dalam dua paradigma yang berbeza.
To be honest, I didn't know what to say- I still don't, really. I got the message when I was boarding a plane back to KL so I couldn't contact her via phone line, but it dominated my mind that night- the whole situation and what was the possibly helpful thing to do and say. And I thought about it more the next day, and in the end I said nothing.
Not that I didn't want to, I figured that nothing I say would make her feel better and everything else is irrelevant. I mean, sadness is a typical emotion when it comes to dealing death, and people always say
"be strong" and stuff, but truth is, you won't '
be strong' even when you know that's the thing you're supposed to do. Because it's one of those situations where your emotions is kicking your logic out of the statement, and you end up doing something natural rather than rational. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's the starting point of humanity.
Well I didn't exactly say nothing. I just mentioned my hopes for her well being in the future, and sent condolences on behalf of my family and I. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, or the opposite, but I do know it's sincere, and I believe that matters the most.