Brother Akim is our Calculus tutorial. Akim alwalayemo to be percise (i hope I spelt his surname right). Nice fellow, soft voice, teaches maths like he means it, and he's a very calm person. One day he was teaching us and his phone kept ringing, and messages kept coming in, and mid class he said
"oh", like a thought just came to him,
"Today is my birthday." everyone was shocked at the sudden confession. He explained that he didn't know it was his brithday, that he rememebrs his hijrah birthdate but not the gregorian one, which is why he felt odd that people were sending him so much messages at the same time.
It was funny, but it also made me thinking, that birthdays were not important initially. The only reason it seems important because culture made it to be.
--- "Oh bidadari Berulas kan syair oleh awan"
One of my most unforgettable moments that occured during my birthday was when I was hanging out with the Aminah clan. First year, first semester, a week before final starts and everyone was last minute-ing their procrastinated assignments. I finished mine weeks ago, but I somehow felt melancholic that day, since it was my birthday. So when they suddenly wanted to go to the riverside to release some tension, I complied.
(
it was not a surprise birthday event, the stress was real, and the intention to release it was also real, I did not doubt it at all. I was convinced noone remembered my birthday)
We were at UIA's infamous sungai te tarik, and it was a dark and angsty night if you may. Cold but not too cold. Breeze with a hint of serenity. Fatin played Hujan's Dikala Rembulan bermain Biola, and it's probably due to acoustic resonance, probably due to the melancholy everyone was feeling, but the night was perfect. When it striked twelve we headed back to the room and Fatin came up to me and whispered Happy Birthday, like it's a secret from the world and it sort of is. At least I want it to stay that way.
I don't want my birthday to be known. It's somehow giving pressure to people to buy something for me, but I don't expect presents or wishes from anyone, I really don't want people who do not know my birthday suddenly wishes me a happy birthday because social media notified them. I don't know. I like secrets, I'm comfortable with secrets, so let this be my biggest.
---
"Sang rembulan tidak putus menyeret dawai biola"
People see me as the book-reading type and simply gives me books thinking that I'd enjoy just anything. But no. I do not see myself as a book lover, I don't love all types of books. I do not read books for the sake of reading, I read because I want to. I talk about the books I like a lot, and most people just disregard my personal preference as a general interest towards things that does not move.
But once in a while, there are people who listen to what I say, and they give great great gifts and I am utterly touched because
/they listened/, but the best gift of all time would definitely be prayers. Whether I know of or not, whether it was in a doa makan, in a tweet, or simply departing and they pray for your well-being, it's the sweetest most sincere thing anyone can offer.
---
"Tidurlah bidadari"
And that is enough for me.
Labels: personal